I woke up this morning (actually, late afternoon) and wasn't a cancer patient...until someone called me to remind me. I had every intention of pouncing on this day off with the same vim as always except I was cordially reminded by a well-intentioned person that I'm supposed to be sick. It wasn't her fault. She didn't mean to let the cat out of the bag. But for about eight minutes when I get out of bed, when m'brain is still all woozy from dreams, it doesn't register that I'm entangled in some nasty dis-ease. I'm just normal, and wanting coffee. I'm sure that mind trickery will fade with time but for the moment I love those eight minutes.
SO, since I'm going to have to have cancer today here are the vital stats:
1) They put the pump in on Monday. They have to shoot poison in me somehow so the port to my aorta will be installed by a mechanic next week. I will main line diet coke if they're mean to me.
2) I have a consult with the good DOCTOR Wednesday. I will likely ask him questions that have no relevance whatsoever like "Did working on a painting crew and not wearing a mask give me cancer?" or "I ate corn in New Jersey once. Did that give me cancer?" He will shake his head and try to be very serious.
3) Chemo starts Thursday! Awesome. It's like the Christmas season, a giant run up and then boom, it is upon ye! I hope it is as overrated as Christmas. I hope there are sales after its over.
So that's the important part. I know how busy you are darlings so get on with your day.
NEWS FLASH*** Did you know DOCTORS OFFICES cannot communicate with each other to save their lives. I've gotten 3 phone calls in the last half hour regarding appointmets that I may or may not have next week. They better get it together quickly or I'm going after this thing with a Leatherman and a wet/dry vac myself!
If I get a bad grade at cancer I'm not sure what I'll do. Audit!